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Military Dining Out functions are very FORMAL affairs. I don’t think a “shorter cocktail dress” would be appropriate.
Many people ask “What’s the difference between a (military) ‘Dining In’ and a ‘Dining Out’?” Simple answer: At a Dining In, spouses/significant others are not invited. At a Dining out they are.
In both cases, the military members wear their “Class A”/Dress Blues uniforms – formal. Spouses/SO’s are requested to do the same.
Don’t worry – Dress up to the 9′s and have a blast. Enjoy yourself. The event might seem “stuffy” at first, but go with the flow and you should have plenty of fun.